Who am I?

This has been a question that I have been asking myself a lot more lately. Mainly cause, there are recruiters, and applications and cover letters that are asking me to answer this question. Now that I am in the process of finishing up my portfolio and starting to look for work, this question keeps popping up.

Who am I?

In the past, I felt like I had a very defined answer to this question. But, truth be told, I didn’t like the answer. It was business, it was refined, it was colorless. It wasn’t an expression of me. One thing that has happened to me as a result of going through this bootcamp and short lived yoga experience is that I don’t settle. I don’t settle for anything anymore that isn’t exactly what I want. That doesn’t mean that I always know what I want….cause I don’t. But I for sure know what I don’t want. And that is to be an ordinary, tasteless drone going through the motions of life (I wanted to say zombie there, but it felt too much like my consciousness was pulling from back to back episodes of the walking dead).

I am sure that you have experienced it. A moment, even if it is passing, where you know for sure if you are on the right track or not. I feel like I am still living in that moment. I don’t know what the future holds, but for the first time, maybe ever, I feel like I have control over what happens next. And that means that I don’t feel as compelled to define who I am. Not like I used to. It used to feel like filling out a form. Now, who I am is someone that is excited about life, and believes that she deserves the best. I don’t want the good enough stepping stone to get to the next stepping stone. I want to do something that makes me proud, something that makes me excited. I feel that I have earned as much.

Strangely, all of this determination may actually be an expression of who I am now. Maybe, I am still too fresh in my experience to put my finger on it. All I know is…I am ready for the next move. I think that it will be wonderful. I think that it will be exciting. I think that it will fit me to a T, and I have one hell of a T now (I will reserve that for a future blog post)!

I pity the fool who doesn’t see how awesome my t shape is