Measuring Up

I was asked to read a short article about measuring up for yoga. It talks about how you should not judge yourself against others in yoga practice, and by extension in life.

Although I understood why this article was written, and what message it was trying to convey, for me it fell a bit flat. Yes, judging yourself by what other people do is bound to get you in trouble. But then again, isn’t that the exact way that we are conditioned to understand our place in society? Furthermore, isn’t there an innate sense of hierarchy that is native to us humans?

I think that it makes more sense to say, create your own goals, and measure yourself against those, than to say not to measure yourself up against anything at all. By taking away that rubric, it feels like the work that you do is meaningless. Why put yourself through the blood, sweat, and tears of what it takes to move yourself forward in life, if there isn’t some way to measure it.?

For me, it has been a journey of trying not to measure myself against others. The perfectionist in me is always fighting back. And the truth is, I like to win, I like to be first, I like to be right. So, at a time in my life when I am trying to do things differently, I recognize the need to consider other options.

In fact, it is necessary now for my survival.

Most days, I notice that I am not the best student in the class. And most nights I realize that I am not the best yogi in the class. At first, this was a back and forth of wanting to be right, first, win, etc. Now I see something new emerging. My own rubric with which to measure myself. It is still small, and mostly in the shadows, but its there. Growing by the day. So with all the trials that have come by me in the last few days, I can at least be proud of this.

Dammit, maybe that article got to me after all.