How Obsession Keeps Me Going
I don’t have OCD, but I have feeling that I am borderline. That could be my bachelors in psychology speaking, but mostly its my experience.
I have obsessions. They keep me up at night. They bother the people around me at times. But I love them.
Its what keeps me dreaming. Its why I love fantasy movies. Its why I went to code school. Its why I stay up late at night listening to talks by DHH and practicing writing rails apps. Its why I am constantly trying to find other anthropologists who are integrated into this technical world. I keep trying to take the pieces of myself and discover who the whole person that is me really is.
Career is my obsession. Not because I want to be defined by my job. But because I want to do work that is a reflection of who I am. So obsessing over how to describe myself, and the work that I do, and why I do it is a natural part of my existence. I am always surprised that it makes other people uncomfortable. But it does. I can’t count how many times I have been asked why I just can’t be happy the way things are? Why do I keep learning new things? Why am I always thinking about my next project?
What these people don’t know is that obsessions like mine can be so great. I retain my childhood spirit by nurturing my obsessions. They bring me happiness. They make me creative. They keep me resilient. How do people live without them? These obsessions are not pressures to keep working, its loving what you do so much that you want to keep working. I have worked so long to love what it is that I do.
I deserve to entertain my obsessions.
And now I want to take it to the next level. I know that I have been holding back. I have been trying to find the right thing, and shape myself in the right way. Now I don’t need that. I can make my own way. And I want to walk down this road because it feels so great.
It is my new obsession. I can’t wait. What are your obsessions that push you to be greater? Why aren’t more people talking about this? I am willing to bet money that my obsessions will be the reasons for my success this year…how about you?